stevievan.com

To all who have emailed and responded to me in the homegoing of my mom, thank you…. You’re words and letters have meant much to me and my family.

It’s hard to sum up my mom’s life; I wish you all could have known her. We tried to share a little of her personality at the funeral service, but it’s hard to cram 72 years into 1 hour.

I’d like to say a special thanks to the Rev. Maurice Henson, associate pastor at First Baptist Church, Indian Trail, for bringing such a powerful and meaningful message at my mom’s funeral. Because my parents were very new to the church, I was worried about some pastor delivering some eulogetic masterpiece about my mom without even knowing her. What I saw in Maurice was raw conviction, led by the Holy Spirit, to impart words to all of us about God’s love, His presence in our lives during suffering (“The LORD is….”), and to allow Christ into our sufferings (“be still…..”). Thank you, Maurice, for allowing God to use you to minister to me, and my whole family.

Thank you Danny Myers for ministering to my family all day on that fateful Monday of Mom’s passing.

Mark Christian, I love you like a brother. I’m amazed I know someone so talented and caring and deep. Thanks for suffering and rejoicing with us this weekend, and for being part of the family…

Finally, my mom was a forgiving person. Makes me think alot about the Don Henley song about forgiveness; that is the heart of the matter. My mom was alot happier cause she learned how to let go and forgive. That is a lesson we all need to remember. I’m remembering it even now….

Today, my mom passed away.

There, plain, and simple. I have more emotions inside than I care to articulate on the written (or electronic page). But, I also have a strange peace, as I look on my mom’s life, and see that this was all for God’s greater good.

Her cancer had come back, and was all over her body (left breast, upper abdomen, rib cage, lower back). That caused a blood clot in her lung, which sent her into cardiac arrest early this morning. She was non responsive from the time the EMT’s took her to the hospital. She died at around 4:30pm today.

I’m a little numb, and still have a bunch of people to call and arrangements to make, to help my dad. Here’s what I have felt today:

Peace….this didn’t happen w/o my Good God knowing it ahead of time.

Comfort…..God’s mercy was extended to my mom, as she was taken to heaven before she had to endure such crappy suffering w/ aggressive cancer.

Security…..Ps 73:25 and 26 tell us that many times our heart and flesh might fail (like my mom’s did), but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion forever. I know that she found that out at 4:30pm, as she went to be w/ Jesus by His side.

my emotions will rise and fall. I might not be as strong as some of you might think me to be. But the fact of the matter is:

God is good
I’m His Kid
My mom was His child
I will see her again someday.

We don’t sorrow as those who have no hope. I have hope; Jesus and His death and resurrection give me hope. Death is not what God intended; sin has screwed up the world. But God has come to earth to make it right. Thanks be to Him who gives us the victory.

more later. I love you all, and appreciate your prayers for me, my dad, and my sister.